The very next day after I immortalised a friend by telling his best ever avocado story, he trumped it. You might think this is hardly surprising because, to be honest, a story about a half-ripe avocado isn’t that exciting anyway.
But this particular friend never tells stories like that. He likes to tell us things like what song they played to call patrons to dinner on the Titanic, or how many flights come to Sydney from Malaysia each day. You see, he suffers from an unhealthy obsession with planes, trains and ships. Symptoms include unbelievably dull conversations about the air speed velocity of an unladen airplane, or recitations of the dessert menu on Carnival cruise ships.
He thinks Speed 2 is an excellent film. Because of the boat, you see. One time he flew to Melbourne on the weekend just for the sake of flying. And I don’t mean FOR the weekend. I mean he went there, switched planes at the airport and came straight back. Though to be fair, he did probably hang out drinking mineral water in the Qantas lounge while waiting for his flight.
So you can see why the avocado story was such a breakthrough. Not a single fact about air crash investigations at all. Laura and I were so proud. Our respect and admiration for this man has reached new heights. And then today – another awesome story! I think being immortalised has motivated him to best himself. Certainly some madness is rubbing off and he’s beginning to understand the makings of an entertaining story.
So, without further ado – Adam’s story:
He said there was a bumblebee walking along the carpet in his work area. Just walking down the corridor. No one knows how it got into the office building but he said his team felt sorry for it. They didn’t want to just squash the bee, because they’re humanitarians like that.So he said they very carefully and creatively used a birthday card and a plastic cup to scoop up the little bumblebee, and then they very carefully and slowly carried it over to a window. Then they very carefully (and probably somewhat forcefully) prised open one of the windows.
And then they very carefully – and blindly – dropped the bumblebee straight into a spider’s web.
- And now he will be immortalised (queengen.com)