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We went to Alcatraz. You’d think I’d have something to say about that, but it turns out I don’t. It was great. Everyone should try it. Maximum security prisons are all the rage.

I'm pretty sure I could photograph this guard tower all day.

This is all coming across far more sarcastically than I mean it. That’s the trouble with not having anything to say about a thing, people presume it’s because you didn’t like it. Sometimes I’m just quiet, that’s all.

We did have a couple of suggestions, though. The worst part about going to Alcatraz is having to wait in line for the ferry. No one likes waiting in line. In fact, one time in Supernatural, Crowley suggested that waiting in line is worse than going to hell. As an extremely patient person, I agree. Maybe. Hell seems pretty horrid, too… Stop making me choose. Fortunately God loves me so I’m pretty sure neither of those things will be in my afterlife.

Anyhow, I digress: we thought there should be some form of entertainment for those waiting in the line. Clowns were suggested, but discarded as being too frightening. There should be convicts and guards waiting in line with us (we’re Australian: we’re far more comfortable with convicts than clowns) and maybe making a bit of a fuss like they don’t want to go to Alcatraz. There could be knife fights. That sort of thing. Boredom eradicated.

This is what it's like to be a prisoner in Alcatraz, looking out the prison windows and having to see freedom so frustratingly close. That's what you get for murdering people. It's almost as bad as being shipped to Australia for stealing bread. (This is me perpetuating a common generalisation. The truth is probably many of our convicts never even saw a loaf of bread.)