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Warning: this post may be offensively ignorant and irreverent. In my defence, I’m in the USA and just trying to fit in. (Sorry, there was some of that aforementioned offensiveness. I only mean it a little bit) (This disclaimer could go on and on, fluctuating between “I’m sorry” and “Well, I’m sort of not”. Maybe you should just skip to the story before I accidentally cancel myself out in a moral quandary.)

Brad: (driving through Mt. Vernon) Do you want to go and look at that church?

Gen: (peering disinterestedly at the building in question) Not really

Brad: The roof is very pointy

Gen: It doesn’t seem to have a cross. There might be a stick on top though … I think that’s Mormon. I’m pretty certain I heard somewhere that Mormons believed that Jesus died on a stake instead of a cross.

Brad is silent. Probably because he is trying to take in the implications of such a belief. Also possibly because he is wondering where the hell I got that idea.

Gen: (ignoring the scepticism and explaining the implications of said belief) I’m pretty certain they think Jesus was a vampire. Because that’s what you do with vampires – you stake them. 

Gen again: (feeling like Brad might want her to wrap this up) And that’s why you can have seven wives.

Brad: Jesus was a vampire … so Mormons can have seven wives?

Gen: It’s only a very brief history of Mormonism.

I’m pretty certain the sense lies in all the details I missed.