Conversation with my husband about
who he loves more his OCD attitude towards tidy record-keeping.
Brad: Can you send me that email about Jack White again?
Gen: Sure, but if you use the search function in your gmail account you should be able to find it.
Brad: I’m pretty sure I deleted it.
Gen: You DELETED your Jack White tickets?!
This from the man who claimed someone was dead to him because they were merely indifferent to Jack White. He deemed another friend “not worthy of Jack White” because he removed some Jack White songs from his ipod. Not all the Jack White songs, I hasten to add – not even most of them. Just the few he didn’t like. Deleting Jack White’s music is a heinous crime. Akin to murdering small children, or wearing salmon-coloured neckties. That’s how bad it is to disrespect the musical genius that is Jack White.
(Hey, don’t argue with me. I don’t make the rules. Brad makes the rules. Brad – who deleted his concert tickets.)
Brad: (outraged) I didn’t delete my Jack White tickets! I would NEVER delete anything so important as Jack White!
Gen: Uh, yeah, that’s what that email was.
Brad: Okay, but, the thing is, you see, I get emails from you all the time. All your blog posts, the bills, pictures of random things you photographed during the day. Why would I want a My Little Pony photo?
Gen: (offended) My emails are all important. Especially the My Little Pony photo!
Brad: But they’re filling up my inbox! I have to clear them out to make room for other things … Sooo – I delete anything with your name on it. (Author’s note: He probably deletes the other things too.)
Gen: Are you serious? You don’t need to clear out your inbox to make space. You’ve got plenty of room to keep my emails. I have literally thousands of emails and I’ve used hardly any of my gmail space. Thousands!
Brad: (proudly) I have ten.
He said he has ten emails in his inbox.
This is because he deletes everything.
Including the Jack White concert tickets that I lovingly bought him as an anniversary present, because I am the best wife ever and I don’t question the fact that he’s found the love of his life – even though I’m not worthy of actually attending said concert with him because I don’t love Jack White enough.
Are you going to delete this one too, Brad?