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Conversation between me and a friend. A male friend. Keep in mind that this man is generally very reticent. He never shares anything about himself with anyone. He won’t answer personal questions like “Have you ever been in love?” “What are you up to tonight?” and “Did you like that movie?”

Him: “I think I’ve injured my groin”

Me: (laughing) (inwardly) Oh no, I think he is serious. I shouldn’t have laughed at that! He’ll probably never speak to me again. I wonder if he regrets making that statement?

Him: (not even blushing. In fact, looking at me like I am the one being embarrassing) “Why are you laughing?”

Me: (shaking my head) Try to look concerned, Gen.

Him: “I should try not to injure it again on Saturday … ”

Me: (laughing again – because I’m immature) Is there a polite way to ask him why he thinks he’s likely to sustain such an injury a second time in a week? Is he meeting a girl on Saturday? Is he telling me this because it was his first time and he’s subtly trying to show off? Am I meant to ask about the girl? Does he think I’m some kind of groin injury expert and he wants my advice on how to do it right? Good God, this conversation is getting awkward!

Him: “I should probably warm it up or something”

Me: (laughing so hard I can barely breathe) “I’m sorry, I really can’t help you here.”

Him: (pausing to think for quite a while) “It’s because you don’t run, isn’t it?”

Yep. Turns out we were talking about a sporting injury. Who’da thought?