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Gen: (to Jeff, just as he’s walking out the front door) It looks bright and sunny outside!

Jeff: That’s because it is bright and sunny outside.

Gen: If I put on a load of washing, will it rain?

Jeff: Yes, it will absolutely rain if you do some washing.

Many hours later as the wind is howling and the rain is drumming so loudly on our roof that I can hardly hear myself think

Jeff: (via SMS because he is walking home from the train station) You did a load of washing, didn’t you?

Gen: Yes

Jeff: So it’s your fault I’m cold and wet and miserable!

Gen: Oh …. yes, I guess so. If it makes you feel any better, my clothes are cold and wet and miserable, too.

Jeff: Your clothes are cold and wet because you put them in a wetting device known as a washing machne.

Gen: But then I hung them out on the clothesline in the sun and they were probably almost dry! Then it rained, and they were all like “fucking deja vu” and even though they’re annoyed with me, I’m kind of proud that my clothes speak French.

Jeff: Huh. … Is “fucking” a French word?