Steps to be taken:

1. Make toast for baby. Make cereal with milk and yoghurt, and coffee for self.

2. Cut toast into pieces and put it on high chair tray.

3. Fetch baby. Baby smells.

4. Change baby’s nappy. Nappy has leaked somewhat.

5. Strip baby. Wipe him down. Run bath. Wash baby. Leave baby to play.

6. Rinse change table cover, baby’s clothes and own clothes. Put all same into washing machine.

7. Check on baby every two minutes.

8. Put on clean clothes.

9. Put new cover on change table.

10. Check playpen for any further mess. Sigh with relief when none found.

11. Fetch baby from bath. Dry him off, put him in fresh nappy.

12. Seat baby in high chair with cold toast.

13. Take dirty nappy out to bin. Get accosted by cats.

14. Feed cats.

15. Sit down to own breakfast. Ignore baby’s whines to share with him. Occasionally fetch baby’s toast from floor.

16. Eat breakfast of soggy cereal and cold coffee.