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I make lists.

It’s probably an anxiety thing. Like, if I don’t keep a list of this stuff, I will forget and the world will end as a result and it will be all my fault. Because who else is going to list the chores I need to do or the bills I need to pay? No one. That’s who. No one.

So I make lists. Some of them are more useful than others. This is probably going to be the weirdest one I’ve ever done. On account of the layers. You’ll see what I mean. It’s like Inception, but on a notepad instead of in a billion dollar movie.

Things I Have Written Lists About:

  • All the injuries Brad had when he had his motorcycle accident, eg broken spine, 12 fractures to the face, etc
  • All the injuries Brad DID NOT have when he had his motorcycle accident, eg brain damage, severed limbs, ruptured eye sockets (it was close)
  • Weird things Brad has said since the accident, eg “I can feel my blood moving” and “How’s YOUR spine?”
  • Weird things Tristan has said at any time, eg “Can you lick my eye?” “You’re not a grown-up yet, Mummy” (touche) and “Are the cows on fire?”
  • Songs I like that happen to be on Rage tonight
  • Film clips that freak me out
  • Reasons why I am happy today
  • Reasons why I am angry at polar bears
  • What the fuck do you think cats are plotting

That’s just a few. I got bored before I finished. That pretty much is how all my lists end. I do like the kind of lists where you get to tick things off and feel accomplished, but I also like the kind of lists where you can read back and go “Yeah.” … That’s it. Yeah. Because what else is there to say?

Tips For Making a Good List:

  • Every list needs a good title. It helps bring all the random thoughts together, and make sense of the purpose of the list. You can’t just list things with no meaning. That would be weird.
  • That’s it, really
  • Bullet points are kind of amusing
  • Until they’re not anymore

Reasons Why I Am Happy Today:

  • Brad was discharged from rehab and I like him




This is the greatest list I have ever seen