“Making Murderer. Why the fuck would you want to watch that?” – Brad

“Can you be a plane?” – Tristan

“I’m on an accordian bus!” – Kasey

“Accordian is not a word.” – Spellcheck

“I am pretty fucking sure it is.” – Me

“I’m going to underline it anyway.” – Spellcheck

“I suddenly doubt everything I know.” – Me. “If it isn’t accordian, what is it? Can you stop fucking underlining that? You’re messing with my head. I swear to God it is a word. Anyway, I didn’t even say it. Someone else did.”

“Who?” – Spellcheck

“My friend, Kasey. He was on a bus. It was either a concertina bus that had two separate compartments separated by an folding bit, or there were accordian players entertaining the people on said bus. He did not specify which. Either way, I gather it was exciting. The exclamation mark notified me of the excitement.”

“Huh.” – Spellcheck. “Well, I still don’t believe it’s a word, and I am an authorised entity. Also, authorised is not a word. I want you to use a z. No matter how many times you try to tell me you aren’t interested in the letter, I will keep reminding you.”

“I really dislike you.” – Me. “If I knew how to switch you off, I would absolutely do that. You basically suck and are the bane of my existence and I wish you’d go away but I’m too lazy to figure out how to get rid of you and your stupid rules.”

“There’s no need to get personal.” – Spellcheck. “But while we’re on the subject, I really think you need to listen to Grammarcheck too. You use far too many sentence fragments. It’s confusing to people who like their sentences to be complete. Also, Grammarcheck is not a word. Just saying.”

“What?!” – Grammarcheck.

“Existentialism is a problem for all of us.” – Me