The other day I asked to be paid in ponies for my advertising services, and my brother laughed at the idea. Admittedly, I was being humourous when I said it, but today another Queen has inspired me with her talk of an ATM for cupcakes. That’s right. Cupcakes. From an ATM. Go on, check it out.
Now, I personally could live without cupcakes but then the Queen suggested an ATM for tiaras and I am SO ON BOARD. The best part about this whole concept to me is the notion that one could bank one’s tiaras. You could deposit them whenever you’re wealthy and don’t want to carry all that tiara around. And you could withdraw them whenever you find yourself in need of one. Maybe you’re going to a high school formal and you need to look like a princess. Or maybe you need to pawn something for some quick cash to support your drug habit. Whatever. I don’t judge. That’s the beauty of the tiara ATM. It’s for everyone.
But you know what would be even MORE useful than a conveniently located tiara dispensing machine? An ATM. For. Shoes. How often are you walking around in super gorgeous pumps all dotted with cherries and you suddenly wish you were wearing sneakers instead? Or you’re out and about relaxing in your thongs and someone invites you to dinner and you wish you had those spiky stiletto heels? Wouldn’t it be AMAZING to deposit the temporarily unwanted (but not, I remind you, unloved) pair of shoes in exchange for another?
For any men reading and shaking their heads in disgust at my shoe fetish, consider how you need to wear business shoes to work, but you might want your rockclimbing shoes for the gym after. Or – just consider how fantastic I look in a pair of killer heels. Either way.
Also – this would free up all the space in the wardrobe that Brad complains is taken up by shoes. And if he couldn’t see my shoes all over the place, he wouldn’t be able to complain “But you already have so many shoes!” when I want a new pair, because for all he knows I spent them all and have none left. And I’d have more room for dresses to go with my shoes, so everybody wins.
I wonder if I can earn interest on my shoes? Maybe the bank will let me accrue more shoes each month. See how all of this lends credence to my desire that shoes should be a perfectly acceptable form of currency?